when passion fades

what do you do when the passion has cooled and the reason for love has almost faded from memory? How many times do we try to resuscitate the passion, and when do we have to accept it really truly is gone and it is time to move on?

I am really surprised at how similar the passion one can have for another human being can mirror the passion a scientist has for their dreams. These dreams are what drive scientists to put there life blood into a project for many years of their life and really are amazingly similar to being in love.

I just got back from a two day work retreat in saitama which was really just a "team building" exercise. The point is to pull the work group out of the normal environment, lock them up in a remote hotel where they HAVE to interact with each other, and then to provide several team related activities or talks to get people thinking about the team and to think differently about the work. The point is to "shake up" the team (to create a bit of insecurity) and then to provide some positive experience (drinking and games usually) to strengthen bonds in the hope of forming a stronger team-spirit and maybe stimulate some new clever ideas. But these sorts of exercises can work in several ways. It can either revitalize the team-spirit, or it can "wake up" people to bigger problems with the team.

In those two days I had some fun with some of my work friends. But I also had some serious discussions about women-in-science issues. We had a bit of story swapping. It is somewhat surprising how similar some of our stories are. But for me this retreat was another reminder of my fading passion for science.

As with any relationship, when we get near the end, we often think about the beginning. How did it start? Science is about passion and dreams. What was it about science that attracted me to it in the first place? The funny thing, is that looking back, I am not 100% certain anymore.

But I can feel something is a bit different now. Sure it is an ok job, but I can tell the passion is almost completely gone.

I guess the question now is, can I find the spark which started that passion and re-kindle that fire? Or is it really the end.