Thursday, May 31, 2012

creation

always interesting how the design and implementation of something new goes. creation from nothing, just a thought, just a dream, and then it starts to become real.

Sometimes new creations come from a goal and a plan. And sometimes they come on their own, a nexus of things coming together, connections forming, old things fall away, and a new creation seed is revealed.

I love the process of creation, but sometimes when they come on their own, it is like a tsunami, an unstoppable force. So now this new creation seed is here, she forced herself into my mind and revealed herself. Now the process of nurturing this seed until it is fully formed.

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

music spirit

Last night I had dinner with one of the Tokyo DJs I most admire. And now I admire her even more. She truly has an artist's spirit.

This month will mark my 1st year anniversary of joining the DJ/producer/clubbing scene. When I started this, I had no idea what would happen. I always knew I had an artist's heart, and I have tried many different ways of expressing that musical spirit. But it really wasn't until I tried DJing that it has all seemed to come together.

Last night she asked me a difficult question which I still find so hard to answer. Of all the different ways to be part of the clubbing scene, which do I dream of most and what kind of lifestyle balance do I want?

I think I know what my dream is, but I also know from my life so far, that success is a balance between what we want and what we are good at. My successful career as a scientific software engineer has really been one chance/success after another. Luck, chance and realizing what is working and what is not. Riding a wave of success.

When I started this club scene journey, I just knew I wanted to be "in the scene", to perform and express myself, to make connections, make friends, and to see where it would go. I had big dreams for my first year, but I really had no idea I would not only hit them all, but actually go beyond.

Last night she told me that the reason she invited me to play at her event, despite my lack of experience and skill, was because of our conversations and my spirit. She said skill can be learned, but that musical instinct and spirit are just inside a person. Even with years of experience, that spirit often does not change. She said she could feel my musical spirit and that my skill will get better with more practice. And that is why she gave me the chance.

A truly wonderful way to mark my one year anniversary. Thank you Moca.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

for the love of music

A friend recently asked me how as DJs we deal with the whole "record industry copyright" thing and avoid being sued all the time for playing music and putting mixes up on the internet.

I really wasn't sure until I thought about it a bit and realized what I think happened to music in the 20th century. How music creation was so different before recording, and how it is now changing yet again with the rise of the "internet DJ"

Before recording there were composers and performers. The only way to hear music was to go to a performance and hear it live. Famous composers would "record" sheet music, but even then each performance of that music was a little different.

Enter music recording. Here was a way to capture a performance and play it back, but it required technology and it had limited distribution channels. But people loved it. But this way to distribute music was very expensive and controllable. Vinyl records and CDs were expensive to manufacture (need to build machines to do it). And radio and television broadcast was limited: very few stations got on the airwaves and expensive to build broadcast facilities. But it was cheap for people to buy record players and radios. With this limited (and expensive) means of distribution and cheap means of consumption, the record industry was born.

But because of this ability (byproduct?) of how to distribute music, it became hard for musicians to "perform" on that medium (radio, tv, vinyl record, cd). Of course there was always the live house, jazz club, and live performance. But if an artist wanted into the radio/vinyl/cd market with that very large audience, they had to sign with one of the few record companies and join the recording industry. And thus began the strangle hold of the recording industry which led to copyright laws, pirating, and law suites.

But there was always underground music and small record labels.

The vinyl record DJ also had their underground market. Many small record labels and artists doing small pressings of vinyl for the DJ/dance music scene. Because of the nature of DJing (play other people's music at a dance club), the whole scene was about sharing music, so the concept of copyright was quite relaxed. There was no point to restrict the play of DJ tracks. DJs bought records to play them live in a dance club.

Now enter the internet, a new channel to distribute music. Nearly impossible to control: too many channels, too easy for a new distribution channel (website) to pop up. But old record companies want to keep their power. So they go crazy with copyright laws. Internet radio is basically killed. But really that only applied to tracks that were released by the big record companies, sold on CD in record stores and played on the radio stations.

But the DJ and dance music scene were already embracing the concept of music sharing. Playing a DJ set is about performing other people's music. That is the point. So the DJ community embraced internet sharing of music much more than any other music genre.

Enter the internet DJ and desktop music production. The line between DJ and producer is blurred. We follow the DJ underground record label model (basically music sharing is good), we make our own tracks, we remix other DJs tracks, we have our own record labels, we play and share music, and we get to perform for reasonably big crowds at the dance clubs. We try to make a little money at this either through selling our music on internet sites like iTunes, beatport, wasabeat or through our DJ performances. But we also give some of our music away for free on websites like soundcloud and mixcloud.

But mainly we do it because we love music.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

finding balance

Last couple weeks were a bit stressful. This happens to all of us I think. We have a deadline for something important and we just have to do. Whether we get talked into it, or we see a great opportunity, or we really want to do something, we agree to it.

In my case there was a great opportunity which I really could not say no to. I agreed to teach a 2 hour class about the system I built for my work. The students were researchers from outside our group. In the end it went really well and I received excellent feedback. I think it also did a lot to help promote my group and what we do.

But that evening I HAD to go clubbing. Almost 3 weeks without performing a DJ or going clubbing. Lucky for me there was a great party on Friday night at warehouse702, maybe my favorite club in Tokyo. An amazing party and so many of my friends were there.

But the thing that really surprised me was a conversation I had with one of my DJ friends. He is someone I really look up to. He is quite famous, has toured internationally, and has been a DJ for many years. I always assumed he was a full time, professional DJ. Well I found out he has a normal daytime job too.

I think the thing that really hammered this home was conversations I had with either students at my class or other DJs at the parties. I told the students I was a DJ, and I told the DJs I was a researcher/programmer. Everyone is always so surprised and thinks it is so cool. I am beginning to realize that it is maybe the combination which makes it cool.

So after such a positive experience at work and things maybe actually getting better, and realizing that maybe there are very few full time DJ/producers in Tokyo, maybe I really do need to keep my feet in both worlds. Maybe I don't need to completely abandon my scientist side and run away to my musical dream life.

Maybe it is just a matter of finding the right balance.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

when passion fades

what do you do when the passion has cooled and the reason for love has almost faded from memory? How many times do we try to resuscitate the passion, and when do we have to accept it really truly is gone and it is time to move on?

I am really surprised at how similar the passion one can have for another human being can mirror the passion a scientist has for their dreams. These dreams are what drive scientists to put there life blood into a project for many years of their life and really are amazingly similar to being in love.

I just got back from a two day work retreat in saitama which was really just a "team building" exercise. The point is to pull the work group out of the normal environment, lock them up in a remote hotel where they HAVE to interact with each other, and then to provide several team related activities or talks to get people thinking about the team and to think differently about the work. The point is to "shake up" the team (to create a bit of insecurity) and then to provide some positive experience (drinking and games usually) to strengthen bonds in the hope of forming a stronger team-spirit and maybe stimulate some new clever ideas. But these sorts of exercises can work in several ways. It can either revitalize the team-spirit, or it can "wake up" people to bigger problems with the team.

In those two days I had some fun with some of my work friends. But I also had some serious discussions about women-in-science issues. We had a bit of story swapping. It is somewhat surprising how similar some of our stories are. But for me this retreat was another reminder of my fading passion for science.

As with any relationship, when we get near the end, we often think about the beginning. How did it start? Science is about passion and dreams. What was it about science that attracted me to it in the first place? The funny thing, is that looking back, I am not 100% certain anymore.

But I can feel something is a bit different now. Sure it is an ok job, but I can tell the passion is almost completely gone.

I guess the question now is, can I find the spark which started that passion and re-kindle that fire? Or is it really the end.