Holiday season

I always find the Holiday season a real mix of emotions. It is a time of year when many reflect back on the previous year, think about the good and bad, and plan for the next year. It is a time when many go back home to spend time with their families too. I know many love this time of year, the shopping, the lights, the festive nature. But I have always found this time of year always difficult. There is no obvious reason why I find it difficult and I have heard many accounts of why this season is difficult for them. I know part of it is the cold and short days and a general lower level of energy. But I think there is something else. The best I can say is that I look at my life at this time of year, I look at the choices I have made and the life I have created for myself, and I look around at what I percieve others lives to be. Of course there is a huge amount of the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" that clouds any of these thoughts and I know this, but I can't help myself some times. Like today I saw a woman on the train with her young daughter. She was western and her daughter was half Japanese and I realized how there really is a part of me that would have loved to had a child of my own. I guess this is the hardest part. I love working and using my brain (I am cursed with being clever with math and science), and I think it would have been impossible for me to let go of that and just raise a child. But yeah I think this might be essence of why this season is so hard for me.
But for all the others out there who love this season, I wish everyone a very happy holiday season.