Eye of the storm

Not a lot happened this last week. This definitely feels like the eye of a storm. Huge amounts of swirling happened in early February and I'm certain there will be just as much chaos and change happening in March and April. I am slowly selling off (or gifting) as many of my possessions which no longer hold value to me. It really is amazing what we call 'precious' when the time comes for harsh decisions. This process has taught me so much about desire and illusion. So much of what we desire are things that are out of our reach. Like I've always wanted some nice furniture and when I arrived in Cambridge I was able to afford to buy a very nice piece of 19th century rosewood furniture. I really love it and it adds a nice feel to my home. Buy I'm also realizing that the only value it has is the one I put on it. If I decide that I have to get rid of it, then my lack of interest in the piece would 'devalue' it and I couldn't sell it for what I paid for it. But if I don't really want to get rid of it, then my lingering desire will make the object more desirable to the next buyer and I will fetch more for it. Kind of like a primate who has caught a frog and is holding onto it very tightly (but not sure what to do with it) which attracts the attention of everyone else around them.

But this is showing me very clearly how materialism is such an illusion and how much market economies are completely based on creating desires within a population and then taking advantage of those desires to
stimulate trade and production. I just watched the movie 'Beyond Rangoon' last night (excellent movie) and there is scene where Patricia Arquette's character is in a market place and a man shows her a small bird in his hands and the bird looks so helpless. She buys the bird and lets it go and feels really good because she believes she has saved the bird from either a caged life or dinner. But as she walks away, the tradesman calls the bird back and it flies back into the cage which he pulled it from. She was perfectly happy buying the bird 'to set it free' and the tradesman knows this desire exists in some people and is just there to satisfy that desire. Most people don't see him calling the bird back so they are happy in their illusion of freeing the bird and are perfectly happy in what they paid for this feeling. We might call this 'taking advantage of people', but the desire (to free a caged bird) exists so how is this taking advantage of people. How different is this to spending $10 on a movie and the feelings that illusion give us. Or spending $100 on a meal in a posh restaurant and the feeling of exclusivity and importance that give us. It's all about desires. The economic world is just about understanding desires and wrapping desire around a product to either convince people they need it or to simply allow that desire to be expressed. I mean my 19th century antique chiffonier is just a hunk of old wood in the end once the desire surrounding it is dissipated.

The funny thing is that I know that we need this desire to drive us through life. It is the center of what makes us human. We can't loose that desire and passion. But we can channel it and become more aware of how we wield it. The trick is to try to understand our desires and crystallize them into purpose. But also know that too pure a desire is toxic and unhealthy. To find a healthy balance between too scattered and too focused.

Staring at my living room of chaos of 'stuff' scattered every which way, I now realize how unfocused my desires have been directed. I now truly understand the root of simplifying one's life. It isn't about letting go of earthly desires (as many religions encourage) but to see our desires in the full light of day and focus them in controlled release so that they are not dissipated frivolously.

Jessica